Monday, February 20, 2006

Arj Kiya Hai....


Arj Kiya Hai....

Safar lamba hai dost banate rahiye ,
Dil mile na mile haath badate rahiye.
Taj na banaiye costly padega
Har taraf Mumtaj banate rahiye...

Ghunghat mein tujhe dekha to deewana hua.
Sangeet ka tarana hua,
Shamaa ka parwana hua,
Masti ka Mastana hua,
Jaise hi ghunghat uthaya is duniya se ravaana hua...

Ek aap ho ki sharmate bahut ho,
Ek aap ho kii itrate bhi bahut ho.
Dil to karta hai ki aapko Dinner pe ley javein,
Kambakht ek aap ho ki
khaate bhi bahut ho  

Laloo Jokes



* What do they call French Toilet in Bihar ?
  La loo
 
* Once Laloo was coming out of Airport. As there was huge rush the
  security guard told Laloo "WAIT SIR" for which Laloo replied "65Kgs"
  and moved on...
 
* Once Laloo wanted to know the time difference between Bihar and Las
  Vegas. So he called up the Tourist department and asked them "Ji could
  you tell me the time difference between Patna and Las Begas...".
  The man at the other end replies "One second sir..." and Laloo
  immediately replies "thank you" and puts the phone down.
 
* Laloos family planning policy..
  "Don't have more than two children in one year"
 
* At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the bartender,
  "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." & the man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS,
  SINGLE." The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?"
  Laloo replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED."
 
* After having become the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to pose for a picture.
  To show he is down to earth CM he decides to pose along with a herd of
  buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle he poses for
  the photo. Next day the photo appears front page of a newspaper. GUESS
  THE CAPTION "Laloo, third from left"
 
* Laloo Prasad Yadav was hosting a Japanese Delegation for Business
  Development to Bihar. The Japanese Embssary was quite impressed with
  Bihar and he stated, "Bihar is an excellent state. Give us three years
  and we will turn it into an economic superpower like Japan." Laloo was
  very surprised. "You Japanese are very inepicient," he stated "Give me
  three days and I will turn Japan into Bihar"
 
* A reporter asked Laloo "What is the main reason for a divorce ?"
  "Marriage"
 

Monday, February 06, 2006

Water, water everywhere ...

Water, water everywhere and we are duped into buying it bottled.


Consumers spend a collective $100 billion every year on bottled water in the belief--often mistaken, as it happens--that this is better for us than what flows from our taps, according to environmental think tank the Earth Policy Institute (EPI).

For a fraction of that sum, everyone on the planet could have safe drinking water and proper sanitation, the Washington, D.C.-based organization said this week.

Members of the United Nations have agreed to halve the proportion of people who lack reliable and lasting access to safe drinking water by the year 2015. To meet this goal, they would have to double the $15 billion spent every year on water supply and sanitation.

''While this amount may seem large, it pales in comparison to the estimated $100 billion spent each year on bottled water,'' said EPI researcher Emily Arnold.

''There is no question that clean, affordable drinking water is essential to the health of our global community,'' Arnold said. ''But bottled water is not the answer in the developed world, nor does it solve problems for the 1.1 billion people who lack a secure water supply. Improving and expanding existing water treatment and sanitation systems is more likely to provide safe and sustainable sources of water over the long term.''

Worldwide, bottled water consumption surged to 154 billion liters (41 billion gallons) in 2004, up 57 percent from 98 billion liters in 1999, EPI said in a written analysis citing industry data.

By one view, the consequences for the planet and for consumers' purses are horrifying.

''Even in areas where tap water is safe to drink, demand for bottled water is increasing--producing unnecessary garbage and consuming vast quantities of energy,'' said Arnold. ''Although in the industrial world bottled water is often no healthier than tap water, it can cost up to 10,000 times more.''

At up to $2.50 per liter ($10 per gallon), bottled water costs more than gasoline in the United States.

A close look at the multibillion-dollar bottled water industry renewed Arnold's affection for the faucet.

Tap water comes to us through an energy-efficient infrastructure whereas bottled water must be transported long distances--and nearly one-fourth of it across national borders--by boat, train, airplane, and truck. This ''involves burning massive quantities of fossil fuels,'' Arnold said.

By way of example, in 2004 alone, a Helsinki company shipped 1.4 million bottles of Finnish tap water 4,300 kilometers (2,700 miles) to Saudi Arabia. And although 94 percent of the bottled water sold in the United States is produced domestically, some Americans import water shipped some 9,000 kilometers from Fiji and other faraway places to satisfy demand for what Arnold termed ''chic and exotic bottled water.''

More fossil fuels are used in packaging the water. Most water bottles are made with polyethylene terephthalate, a plastic derived from crude oil. ''Making bottles to meet Americans' demand for bottled water requires more than 1.5 million barrels of oil annually, enough to fuel some 100,000 U.S. cars for a year,'' Arnold said.

Worldwide, some 2.7 million tons of plastic are used to bottle water each year.

Once it has been emptied, the bottle must be dumped. According to the Container Recycling Institute, 86 percent of plastic water bottles used in the United States become garbage or litter. Incinerating used bottles produces toxic byproducts such as chlorine gas and ash containing heavy metals tied to a host of human and animal health problems. Buried water bottles can take up to 1,000 years to biodegrade.

Of the bottles deposited for recycling in 2004, the United States exported roughly 40 percent to destinations as far away as China--meaning that even more fossil fuels were burned in the process.

Meanwhile, communities from near which the water came in the first place risk running dry.

More than 50 Indian villages have complained of water shortages after bottlers began extracting water for sale under Coca-Cola Co.'s Dasani label, EPI said.

''Similar problems have been reported in Texas and in the Great Lakes region of North America, where farmers, fishers, and others who depend on water for their livelihoods are suffering from concentrated water extraction as water tables drop quickly,'' ''Arnold said.

All this, because many consumers associate bottled water with healthy living.

More fool us.

''Bottled water is not guaranteed to be any healthier than tap water. In fact, roughly 40 percent of bottled water begins as tap water; often the only difference is added minerals that have no marked health benefit,'' EPI said.

France's Senate, it added, ''even advises people who drink bottled mineral water to change brands frequently because the added minerals are helpful in small amounts but may be dangerous in higher doses.''

To be sure, many municipal water systems have run afoul of government water quality standards--driving up demand for bottled water as a result. But according to the study, ''in a number of places, including Europe and the United States, there are more regulations governing the quality of tap water than bottled water.''

The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency sets more stringent quality standards for tap water than does the Food and Drug Administration for the bottled stuff, it added.

Americans drank 26 billion liters of bottled water in 2004, or roughly one eight-ounce glass per person every day. Mexico had the second highest consumption, at 18 billion liters. China and Brazil followed, at close to 12 billion liters each. Italy and Germany ranked fifth and sixth in consumption, downing just over 10 billion liters of bottled water each.

Italians drank the most bottled water per person, at nearly 184 liters in 2004--more than two glasses per day. Mexico and the United Arab Emirates consumed 169 and 164 liters per person. Belgium and France followed, knocking back almost 145 liters annually. Spain ranked sixth, with 137 liters swallowed each year.

Some of the fastest growth in bottled water consumption is taking place in poor countries, however.

With consumption per person increasing by 44-50 percent between 1999 and 2004, Lebanon and Mexico had among the fastest growth rates of the top 15 per-capita guzzlers, EPI said.

Indian and Chinese people drank far less individually but collectively, the world's two most populous countries appear to have been on a bender. India swigged three times as much bottled water in 2004 as it did in 1999 and China, more than twice as much.

If individual Chinese consumers drank one-fourth the bottled water downed by the average American, EPI said, China would springboard over the United States and become the world's largest consumer.

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Hair is the Hat

Darain Housen shows off his 'hairy hat'. - NORMAN GRINDLEY DARAIN HOUSEN HAS not taken off his hat for the last 20 years. He bathes, he sleeps and does everything possible in it. It is a perfect fit.

http://www.jamaica-star.com/thestar/20051006/news/news1.html

Friday, February 03, 2006

Wonderful definitions of designations at office.

Wonderful definitions of designations at office.

1) Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.

 2) Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.

 3) Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.

 4) Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.

 5) Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.

 6) Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources.

 7) Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.

 8) Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to Produce a baby. and lastly........

 9) Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the Right baby

10) Team Lead is a person actually knows how many men and women required to deliver the baby, but will not tell anyone

 



Thursday, February 02, 2006

Why women always fail in IT field..?

Why women always fail in IT field..?

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

The Ant and the Grasshopper

CLASSIC VERSION...

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer
long, building his house and laying up supplies for
the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant's a fool and laughs &
dances & plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The
grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in
the cold.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

MODERN VERSION...

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer
long, building his house and laying up supplies for
the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant's a fool and laughs &
dances & plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press
conference and demands to know why the ant should be
allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold
and starving.

BBC, CNN, AAJ TAK, NDTV show up to provide pictures of
the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant
in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can
this be that this poor grasshopper is allowed to
suffer so?

Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the
ant's house.
Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticizes the
Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of
the grasshopper.
The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking
support to the grasshopper.
Opposition MP's stage a walkout.
Left parties call for "Bharat Bandh" in West Bengal
and Kerala
demanding a Judicial Enquiry.

Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the Prevention
of Terrorism
Against Grasshoppers Act [POTAGA]", with effect from
the beginning of the winter.
The ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA
and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes,
his home is confiscated by the government and handed
over to the grasshopper in a ceremony covered by
BBC,CNN, AAJ TAK and NDTV.
Arundhati Roy calls it "a triumph of justice".
Koffi Annan invites the grasshopper to address the UN
General Assembly.