Sunday, March 26, 2006

The ultimate comic stuff

Contributed by Surender Kumar (surenderonnet@gmail.com)

If the directors of the movies be engineers from Electrical
,mechanical,civil,electronics branch.

then what would be the name of the movies .

kya yahi shaft hai

hum feed de chuke sanam

hamari bettery aapke pass hai

do diode

lathe wale material le jayenge

oil mil gaya

english piston desi crank

kya frastoo hai hum

maine civil kyon li

english control desi system

kya yahi communication hai

negative se positive tak

chal mere CRO

mein electron tu proton

material no.1

Friday, March 17, 2006

Cigarette...contains this much stuff...


Nicotine
Nicotine is a powerful insecticide and poisonous for the nervous systems. Furthermore, there is enough (50 mg) in four cigarettes to kill a man in just a few minutes if it were injected directly into the bloodstream. Indeed, fatalities have occurred with children after they had swallowed cigarettes or cigarette butts.
When diluted in smoke, nicotine reaches the brain in just seven seconds, it stimulates the brain cells and then blocks the nervous impulse. This is where addiction to tobacco arises. Nicotine also causes accelerated heart rate, but at the same time it leads to contracting and hardening of the arteries: the heart pumps more but receives less blood. The result is twice as many coronary attacks. Nicotine thus also increases the consumption of lipids (which is why it has a weight-loss effect) and induces temporary hyperglycaemia (hence the appetite suppressing effect).

Carbon monoxide (CO)
This is the asphyxiating gas produced by cars, which makes up 1.5% of exhaust fumes. But smokers inhaling cigarette smoke breathe in 3.2% carbon monoxide - and directly from the source.
Oxygen is mostly transported in blood by haemoglobin. When we smoke, however, the carbon monoxide attaches itself to the haemoglobin 203 times more quickly than oxygen does, thereby displacing the oxygen; this in turn asphyxiates the organism. This causes the following cardiovascular complaints: narrowing of the arteries, blood clots, arteritis, gangrene, heart attack, etc. . . . but also a loss of reflexes and visual and mental problems. It takes between six and 24 hours for the carbon monoxide to leave the blood system.

Irritants
These substances paralyse and then destroy the cilia of the bronchial tubes, responsible for filtering and cleaning the lungs. They slow down respiratory output and irritate the mucus membranes, causing coughs, infections and chronic bronchitis.

Tars
As the cilia are blocked (see paragraph above), the tars in the cigarette smoke are deposited and collect on the walls of the respiratory tract and the lungs, and cause them to turn black. So, just because a smoker is not coughing, it doesn't mean that he or she is healthy! And this fact merely serves to pour water on one of the most common and poorest excuses given by smokers. The carcinogenic action of the tars is well known: they are responsible for 95% of lung cancers. It takes two days at least after cessation of smoking for the cilia to start functioning properly again, albeit only gradually. By smoking one packet of cigarettes every day, a smoker is pouring a cupful of these tars into his or her lungs every year (225 grams on average)!

Chemistry of Tobacco Smoke
No less than 4000 irritating, suffocating, dissolving, inflammable, toxic, poisonous, carcinogenic gases and substances and even radioactive compounds (nickel, polonium, plutonium, etc.) have been identified in tobacco smoke. Some of these are listed hereafter: Benzopyrene, dibenzopyrene, benzene, isoprene, toluene (hydorcarbons); naphthylamines; nickel, polonium, plutonium, arsenic, cadmium (metallic constituents); carbon dioxide, methane, ammonia, nitric oxide, nitrogen dioxide,
hydrogen sulphide (gases); methyl alcohol, �thanol, glycerol or glycerine, glycol (alcohols and esters); acetaldehyde, acrolein, acetone (aldehydes and ketones); cyanhydric or prussic acid, carboxyl derivatives (acids); chrysene, pyrrolidine, nicoteine, nicotinine, nicoteline, nornicotine, nitrosamines (alkaloids or bases); cresol (phenols), etc.

 

Confessions of a kid

Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.
His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell
his mother what he wanted.
"Mom, I want a bike for my birthday." Little Bobby was a bit of a troublemaker.
He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Bobby's mother asked
him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday. Little
Bobby, of course, thought he did.

Bobby's mother wanted Bobby to reflect on his behavior over the last year.
"Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this year.

Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for
your birthday." Little Bobby stomped up the steps to his room and sat
down to write God a letter.

Letter 1
Dear God,
I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my
birthday. I want a red one.
Your friend,
Bobby

Bobby knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this
year, so he tore up the letter and started over.

Letter 2
Dear God,
This is your friend Bobby. I have been a good boy this year and I
would like a red bike for my birthday.
Thank you.
Your friend Bobby

Bobby knew that this wasn't true either. So, he tore up the letter and
started again.

Letter 3
Dear God,
I have been an "OK "boy this year. I still would really like a bike
for my birthday.
Bobby

Bobby knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Bobby
wrote a fourth letter.

Letter 4
God,
I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be
a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday. Please!
Thank you,
Bobby

Bobby knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike.

Now, Bobby was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom that he
wanted to go to church. Bobby's mother thought her plan had worked, as
Bobby looked very sad.
"Just be home in time for dinner," Bobby's mother told him.

Bobby walked down the street to the church on the corner. Little Bobby
went into the church and up to the altar. He looked around to see if
anyone was there. Bobby bent down and picked up a statue of the Mary.
He slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the church, down
the street, into the house, and up to his room. He shut the door to
his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen. Bobby began to
write his letter to God.

Letter 5
God,
I'VE KIDNAPPED YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Hidden Programs In Windows Xp

1- Private Character Editor
This program is for designing icons and Characters(Alphapet)
Click :start
Then :run
type :EUDCEDIT
.................................................................................................................................................
2- iExpress
This Program is for conerting your files to EXCUTABLE files
Click : start
Then : run
type : iexpress
.................................................................................................................................................
3-Disk Cleanup
This program used for cleaning harddisk to offer space
Click : start
Then : run
type : cleanmgr

.................................................................................................................................................
4-Dr Watson
This program Is for repairing problems in Windows
Click : start
Then : run
type : drwtsn32
.................................................................................................................................................
5-Windows Media Player 5.1
Opens the old media player
Click : start
Then : run
type : mplay32
.................................................................................................................................................
Program ............. CODE
__________ __________
Character Map = charmap

DirectX diagnosis = dxdiag

Object Packager = packager

System Monitor = perfmon

Program Manager = progman

Remote Access phone book = rasphone

Registry Editor = regedt32

File siganture verification tool = sigverif

Volume Control = sndvol32

System Configuration Editor = sysedit

Syskey = syskey

Microsoft Telnet Client = telnet

Monday, March 13, 2006

Beautiful Colours: Ugly Truth!

Beautiful Colours: Ugly Truth!

Holi is played with various hues of red, yellow, blue, green, magenta, purple, orange, …..! But do you know that most of the Holi colours sold these days contain many harmful chemicals? Infact most are dyes meant for industrial uses like dyeing textiles and are not meant to be applied on humans. These colours include heavy metals, acids, alkalis, powdered glass…. The black paste has lead oxide, green contains copper sulphate, red is mercury sulphite etc. All these are toxic and can result in anything from skin allergies to cancer, eye irritation to blindness… and much more.

Even the base in which these chemical are mixed are highly toxic. Several powder or dry colours use a base of asbestos talc, chalk powder or silica. Asbestos is a known human carcinogen which gets built up in the body tissue, even micro quantities can result in cancer. Silica may dry as well as chap the skin. The shine in the colours is due to addition of powdered glass or mica. Many water colours have an alkaline base capable of causing severe injuries. If it enters the eyes, it can pose a great danger to the vision. Colours in the form of pastes have toxic compounds mixed in a base of engine oil or other inferior quality oil, capable of causing skin allergy, temporary blindness…

 

Chemical Colour
Composition
Health Effects
Black
Lead Oxide
Renal Failure, Learning disability
Green
Copper Sulphate
Eye Allergy, Temporary blindness
Purple
Chromium iodide
Bronchial asthma, Allergies
Silver
Aluminium Bromide
Carcinogenic
Red
Mercury Sulphite
Skin cancer, Minamata disease (mental retardation, paralysis, impaired vision...)
Even the way we play Holi is becoming dangerous. Throwing of water balloons can cause injury to the eyes and ears when thrown from a distance and with force. Is it not ironical that while the whole year we take utmost care of our appearance, skin and eyes everyday, on Holi we damage it joyfully with toxic colours? When washed, these chemicals enter the rivers, the soil, and cause even more pollution. Do our festivals and celebrations need not be at the cost of our life and environment?

We can play and motivate others to play Holi with environment and human friendly natural colours. By using safe, natural colours we are not only saving our skins but are also helping to save our environment and conserve our biodiversity. When these colours are mixed with the soil and water they will not add toxicity to them, therefore it will not harm the myriad life forms that live in the soil and water. By this we can bring back in large quantities the diverse plants and trees that give us these colours.

Experts Suggestions:

How to remove colours from your skin?
"If you are not sure with the quality of colours, you better smear your body with coconut oil or any other quality based moisturizing cream before getting coloured. It is better and easier to scrub them off with the oily layer and better to wash your face time to time so that your skin can be easily cleaned later on. If you do get coloured with obstinate colours, apply a mixture of curd and besan or malai and gently rub your face, do this two or three time and you'll get original colour of your skin. Don't try to scratch your skin with nails."

If going out to celebrate Holi:
·Use cap, scarf or hat to protect your hairs from colours.
·Use a sunglass to protect your eyes from harmful colours.
.Apply oil or cream on your skin before going out in Holi.
·Try to play with the natural colours (Gulal).

In case of irritation in eyes:
"Cheap quality and chemical based colour (especially wet) can harm your eyes. If you feel some irritation or redness in your eyes don't rub that area, wash your eyes with clean and running water and immediately go to the eye specialist nearby to your place. If eye specialist is not available at the moment than put one drop of anti biotic like "ciprofloxacin" 3-4 times in a day. Eyeglasses are the best option to protect eyes from colours."

For more information log on to websites -
http://www.cleanindia.org/btonature/holi.htm#toxic
http://environment.delhigovt.nic.in/holi2003/red_recp.htm
http://www1.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/544035.cms

 

Monday, March 06, 2006

best slogans....



# Sign on a  railway station at Patna:
Aana free, jaana  free,
pakde gaye to khana free.
 
 
#  Seen on a famous beauty parlor in Bombay:
Don't whistle at the girl going out from here.
She may be your grandmother!
 
 
# Seen on a  bulletin board:
Success is  relative
More the success, more the relatives.
 
# Sign at a  barber's saloon in Juhu, Bombay:
we need your  heads to run our business.
 
# A traffic  slogan:
Don't let your kids drive if they are not old enough - or else they never will  be.....
 
 
#THE BEST ONE:
Its God's responsibility to forgive the terrorist organizations
It's our responsibility to arrange the meeting between them and god."
- Indian Armed Forces  


 

 

Monday, February 20, 2006

Arj Kiya Hai....


Arj Kiya Hai....

Safar lamba hai dost banate rahiye ,
Dil mile na mile haath badate rahiye.
Taj na banaiye costly padega
Har taraf Mumtaj banate rahiye...

Ghunghat mein tujhe dekha to deewana hua.
Sangeet ka tarana hua,
Shamaa ka parwana hua,
Masti ka Mastana hua,
Jaise hi ghunghat uthaya is duniya se ravaana hua...

Ek aap ho ki sharmate bahut ho,
Ek aap ho kii itrate bhi bahut ho.
Dil to karta hai ki aapko Dinner pe ley javein,
Kambakht ek aap ho ki
khaate bhi bahut ho  

Laloo Jokes



* What do they call French Toilet in Bihar ?
  La loo
 
* Once Laloo was coming out of Airport. As there was huge rush the
  security guard told Laloo "WAIT SIR" for which Laloo replied "65Kgs"
  and moved on...
 
* Once Laloo wanted to know the time difference between Bihar and Las
  Vegas. So he called up the Tourist department and asked them "Ji could
  you tell me the time difference between Patna and Las Begas...".
  The man at the other end replies "One second sir..." and Laloo
  immediately replies "thank you" and puts the phone down.
 
* Laloos family planning policy..
  "Don't have more than two children in one year"
 
* At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the bartender,
  "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." & the man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS,
  SINGLE." The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?"
  Laloo replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED."
 
* After having become the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to pose for a picture.
  To show he is down to earth CM he decides to pose along with a herd of
  buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle he poses for
  the photo. Next day the photo appears front page of a newspaper. GUESS
  THE CAPTION "Laloo, third from left"
 
* Laloo Prasad Yadav was hosting a Japanese Delegation for Business
  Development to Bihar. The Japanese Embssary was quite impressed with
  Bihar and he stated, "Bihar is an excellent state. Give us three years
  and we will turn it into an economic superpower like Japan." Laloo was
  very surprised. "You Japanese are very inepicient," he stated "Give me
  three days and I will turn Japan into Bihar"
 
* A reporter asked Laloo "What is the main reason for a divorce ?"
  "Marriage"
 

Monday, February 06, 2006

Water, water everywhere ...

Water, water everywhere and we are duped into buying it bottled.


Consumers spend a collective $100 billion every year on bottled water in the belief--often mistaken, as it happens--that this is better for us than what flows from our taps, according to environmental think tank the Earth Policy Institute (EPI).

For a fraction of that sum, everyone on the planet could have safe drinking water and proper sanitation, the Washington, D.C.-based organization said this week.

Members of the United Nations have agreed to halve the proportion of people who lack reliable and lasting access to safe drinking water by the year 2015. To meet this goal, they would have to double the $15 billion spent every year on water supply and sanitation.

''While this amount may seem large, it pales in comparison to the estimated $100 billion spent each year on bottled water,'' said EPI researcher Emily Arnold.

''There is no question that clean, affordable drinking water is essential to the health of our global community,'' Arnold said. ''But bottled water is not the answer in the developed world, nor does it solve problems for the 1.1 billion people who lack a secure water supply. Improving and expanding existing water treatment and sanitation systems is more likely to provide safe and sustainable sources of water over the long term.''

Worldwide, bottled water consumption surged to 154 billion liters (41 billion gallons) in 2004, up 57 percent from 98 billion liters in 1999, EPI said in a written analysis citing industry data.

By one view, the consequences for the planet and for consumers' purses are horrifying.

''Even in areas where tap water is safe to drink, demand for bottled water is increasing--producing unnecessary garbage and consuming vast quantities of energy,'' said Arnold. ''Although in the industrial world bottled water is often no healthier than tap water, it can cost up to 10,000 times more.''

At up to $2.50 per liter ($10 per gallon), bottled water costs more than gasoline in the United States.

A close look at the multibillion-dollar bottled water industry renewed Arnold's affection for the faucet.

Tap water comes to us through an energy-efficient infrastructure whereas bottled water must be transported long distances--and nearly one-fourth of it across national borders--by boat, train, airplane, and truck. This ''involves burning massive quantities of fossil fuels,'' Arnold said.

By way of example, in 2004 alone, a Helsinki company shipped 1.4 million bottles of Finnish tap water 4,300 kilometers (2,700 miles) to Saudi Arabia. And although 94 percent of the bottled water sold in the United States is produced domestically, some Americans import water shipped some 9,000 kilometers from Fiji and other faraway places to satisfy demand for what Arnold termed ''chic and exotic bottled water.''

More fossil fuels are used in packaging the water. Most water bottles are made with polyethylene terephthalate, a plastic derived from crude oil. ''Making bottles to meet Americans' demand for bottled water requires more than 1.5 million barrels of oil annually, enough to fuel some 100,000 U.S. cars for a year,'' Arnold said.

Worldwide, some 2.7 million tons of plastic are used to bottle water each year.

Once it has been emptied, the bottle must be dumped. According to the Container Recycling Institute, 86 percent of plastic water bottles used in the United States become garbage or litter. Incinerating used bottles produces toxic byproducts such as chlorine gas and ash containing heavy metals tied to a host of human and animal health problems. Buried water bottles can take up to 1,000 years to biodegrade.

Of the bottles deposited for recycling in 2004, the United States exported roughly 40 percent to destinations as far away as China--meaning that even more fossil fuels were burned in the process.

Meanwhile, communities from near which the water came in the first place risk running dry.

More than 50 Indian villages have complained of water shortages after bottlers began extracting water for sale under Coca-Cola Co.'s Dasani label, EPI said.

''Similar problems have been reported in Texas and in the Great Lakes region of North America, where farmers, fishers, and others who depend on water for their livelihoods are suffering from concentrated water extraction as water tables drop quickly,'' ''Arnold said.

All this, because many consumers associate bottled water with healthy living.

More fool us.

''Bottled water is not guaranteed to be any healthier than tap water. In fact, roughly 40 percent of bottled water begins as tap water; often the only difference is added minerals that have no marked health benefit,'' EPI said.

France's Senate, it added, ''even advises people who drink bottled mineral water to change brands frequently because the added minerals are helpful in small amounts but may be dangerous in higher doses.''

To be sure, many municipal water systems have run afoul of government water quality standards--driving up demand for bottled water as a result. But according to the study, ''in a number of places, including Europe and the United States, there are more regulations governing the quality of tap water than bottled water.''

The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency sets more stringent quality standards for tap water than does the Food and Drug Administration for the bottled stuff, it added.

Americans drank 26 billion liters of bottled water in 2004, or roughly one eight-ounce glass per person every day. Mexico had the second highest consumption, at 18 billion liters. China and Brazil followed, at close to 12 billion liters each. Italy and Germany ranked fifth and sixth in consumption, downing just over 10 billion liters of bottled water each.

Italians drank the most bottled water per person, at nearly 184 liters in 2004--more than two glasses per day. Mexico and the United Arab Emirates consumed 169 and 164 liters per person. Belgium and France followed, knocking back almost 145 liters annually. Spain ranked sixth, with 137 liters swallowed each year.

Some of the fastest growth in bottled water consumption is taking place in poor countries, however.

With consumption per person increasing by 44-50 percent between 1999 and 2004, Lebanon and Mexico had among the fastest growth rates of the top 15 per-capita guzzlers, EPI said.

Indian and Chinese people drank far less individually but collectively, the world's two most populous countries appear to have been on a bender. India swigged three times as much bottled water in 2004 as it did in 1999 and China, more than twice as much.

If individual Chinese consumers drank one-fourth the bottled water downed by the average American, EPI said, China would springboard over the United States and become the world's largest consumer.

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Hair is the Hat

Darain Housen shows off his 'hairy hat'. - NORMAN GRINDLEY DARAIN HOUSEN HAS not taken off his hat for the last 20 years. He bathes, he sleeps and does everything possible in it. It is a perfect fit.

http://www.jamaica-star.com/thestar/20051006/news/news1.html