Panjaab Airways !

P'njaab Airways : IN-FLIGHT ANNOUNCEMENT

Gud marning, Ladies and Gen'lemen. P'rajee aur Behnjee. Sat Sri
Akal. On
behalf of Captaan Balbir Singh 'Bobby', this is your Flight
Supervisor
Banta Singh "Bunty" welcoming to you on the P'njaab Airways flight
no.
9211 (Nau Do Gyaraah) to Ludhiana.

We apalogize for the two-day delay in taking off, b'cause the sun
was
not shining brightly in the fog. And we are knowing the sun does
not
shine in the night.

Landing in Ludhiana is not dafinite, but with good luck we can be
landing d'rectly in your v'llage.

P'njaab Airways has exc'llant record for safety. In fact our safety
standards are so high that even the fully trained tarrists and
hijackers
are afraid to fly with us.

I am pleased to 'nounce that starting this year over 90% of our
p'ssaingers have reached to their dest'nation.For the rest 10%, the
P'njaab Airways staff has lots of experience for consoling the
next-of-kin. Our Hostess Bubbly Kaur will be haippy to brief you on
our
out-of-court settlement policies.

If engines are too noisy, on p'ssainger request, we can turn them
off
for comfart, but your flight will become late and you may become
the
late also.

For our religious p'ssaingers, we are the only airline who can help
you
to contact God at once. In case of sudden loss of cabin pressure,
Holy
Books will be quickly distributed.

We regret that today's in-flight movie will not be shown as we
could not
record it from the tallyvision due to power cut.

But we will be flying right naxt to Air India, where their movie
can be
seen from the right side cabin windows. These windows have been
opened
for your viewing convenience.

For p'ssaingers on left side, we have put binoculars under the
seat. If
AirIndia flight is again cancelled, then for your in-flight
ent'tainment. our hostesses Bubbly Kaur & Cuckoo Kaur will do the
Bhangra with flight stewards Pappu and Tappu.

Oye, Balle Balle!!

Your in-flight Menu has a choice of Chicken Tikka Masala, Tandoori
Fish,
Dal makhani, unlimited P'ronthas and Lassi.

There is a half charge for Red Label Whiskey served from Black
Label
bottles.Patiala pegs will be served only on Patiala flights.

As per safety rules, smoking is not allowed on all P'njaab Airways
flights over P'njaab. Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the
early
warning system on the engines.

Please do read the 'structions on the Safety Card in seat pocket in
your
front side. It is not a hand fan.The P'ssainger behind you must
read the
card in your backside.

Life jackets are placed under your seats for emergency water
landings on
any of our 5 rivers. Do not use life jackets on the land.

Kindly keep your seat in upright position for take-off & landing.
Also
do not use force. Broken seats will not > > > be replaced and you
will
be tied to the floor during take off and landing.

Please be seated first and then fasten your seatbelts. Do not call
for
steward or airhostess for a glass of water when plane is taking
off.

We are about to take-off. We wish you a pleasant flight. For air
sikness
problems we have echo friendly jute bags in the sit pokets -

Thank you once again for flying with P'njaab Airways




......Panju's rock ..wot say ?