Bihari Essay on Indian Cow

You'll forget your English by the time you finish reading this. This is
a
true essay written by a Bihari candidate at the UPSC(IAS)Examinations.
The
candidate has written an essay on the Indian cow:

Indian Cow

HE IS THE COW. "The cow is a successful animal. Also he is 4 footed,
And
because he is female, he give milks, [ but will do so when he is got
child.]
He is same like-God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man. But he has got
four
legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards. His whole body
can be
utilised for use. More so the milk. Milk comes from 4 taps attached to
his
basement. [ horses dont have any such attachment]

What can it do? Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, why and the
condensed
milk and so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans and mankind
generally. His motion is slow only because he is of lazy species, Also
his
other motion.. gober] is much useful to trees, plants as well as for
making
flat cakes[like Pizza] , in hand and drying in the sun.

Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding after eating. Then
afterwards she chew with his teeth whom are situated in the inside of
the
mouth. He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass. His only
attacking and
defending organ is the horns, specially so when he is got child. This
is
done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons to be paralleled
to
the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with great velocity
forwards.
He has got tails also, situated in the backyard, but not like similar
animals. It has hairs on the other end of the other side. This is done
to
frighten away the flies which alight on his cohesive body hereupon he
gives
hit with it.

The palms of his feet are soft unto the touch. So the grasses head is
not
crushed. At night time have poses by looking down on the ground and he
shouts . His eyes and nose are like his other relatives. This is the
cow.......

We are informed that the candidate passed the exam, and is now an IAS,
is
bihar in somewhere..[sorry somewhere in Bihar]