One Liners

There are some things that money can't buy. For everything else, my salary isn't sufficient !!

Remember there's no I in team" ... but there is a M and an E!

Corporate Motto: READY - FIRE - AIM !!!

I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.

I don't mind the rat race but I could do with a little more cheese.

They can't fire me, slaves have to be sold.

Home is where the television is.

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.

Death is hereditary.

Many things can be preserved in alcohol. Dignity is not one of them.

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

*When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

*Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

*Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else..

*Experience is what a comb gives you after you lose your hair.

*Well done is better than well said.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when nobody is looking.

*They say hard work never hurt anybody, but why take the chance.

*Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

*You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

*I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

*Pessimist: A person that looks both ways when crossing a one way street.

*The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an approaching train.

*Where there's a will there are five hundred relatives.

*I have a drinking problem - I can't afford it.

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

*LUCK...stands for Labouring Under Correct Knowledge

*Everyone should ! have a spouse, because there are a number of things that go wrong that one can't blame on the government.

*The evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

*There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side and the right side.

*An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

"God is a DJ, Life is a dance floor......play on"